2 kids is a breeze

Sorry not sorry.

I had to take son numero 1 to the dentist. So I dropped various offspring at school and was left with just 2. 

We came home baby M had boob. 

We set off.

We were early – bloody hell.

We had time to peruse Aldi – one of the great fun mum haunts.

We purchased 4  refill cartridges for my dymo labeller. 

My life is this fun.

I was actually excited by the iron on cartridge so much so I got 2.  

For a moment my life was complete. 

Back down to earth with a milk purchase and then the dentist. 

I also came home and vacuumed my cardboard. 

We are still in semi renovation stages.

So when I vacuum I get to suck up dust from cardboard laid on dodgy floorboards and concrete. 

I still find it necessary to vacuum though. 

Relaxing yoga

So this morning I had yoga. 

I’d booked it a few months ago. An inversion workshop bloody yes!!!

So of course I got up a bit too late.

Spent too long hanging the washing up whilst worrying it needed to be dry as it was 99% school uniform.

Then I fed the animals.

Then I discovered I had no fucking idea where my yoga mat was.

We have only been moved 2 weeks but I was confident my mat was in my treatment room. It wasn’t. 

So I had a mini lost mat flap and realised whilst doing this I needed to eat before a 3 hour yoga workshop.

Whacked a veggie burger in the oven.

Frantically shaved my arm pits. 

Gave up on my legs – too little time. 

Whilst dressing I gave instructions to my husband. 

DO NOT leave the baby unmanned.

WATCH the baby and strap her in if feeding her.

Just look after them.

Please.

So I left the house minus my yoga mat. With a plastic plate of 1 veggie burger (no bun I had run out of time) 1 Apple 1 nectarine.

I decided to take husbands car – smaller, fuel economic, nicer to drive. 

I then discover he has left it over night on the drive with the door wide open.

The whole of the car is covered in wet dewy water. It’s just wet. I put the wipers on to discover the water is on the inside of the windscreen and rear windscreen.

Fuuuuuuuck. 

I find a crocheted football (made for son 3 after he smashed his toe on a sand pit digger – long story I hope is never repeated) and use this to clear the screen.

I’m stressed. I’m probably late by now. I’m driving along with both windows down and the heating on high to try and dry out the car.

I’m eating a veggie burger off a pink IKEA plate. Trying not to drip anything onto my yoga outfit.

I’m calm. 

I’m in control.

I’m totally ready for a yoga workshop.

Why is it always me. 

Fucking wet car Arse shit. 

Namaste…………

You’ve Got This

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Self Belief.

So I decided to do this.

So here I am.

First post.

I should probably point out I type like I talk so sorry about that.

And I like full stops.

Not sorry.

My life is very insane but also very funny so this is why I am here writing this.

Because in the last week I could have posted about how the bin men found the dog. Or how our new next door neighbours helped my eldest son break into another neighbours garden to try and locate our lost guinea pig. (not all my posts will be animal related by the way). How one day the fridge leaked, the toilet flooded and the dog was sick all within an hour of each other (again not all stories will involve animals although there could be quite a few).

But today its been quite quiet.

Except getting up ridiculously early to take son 2 to his first football match of the season.

I had finally sucuumbed and downloaded pitchero onto my already slow and storage bulging phone.  No I thought I will embrace it I can now find out – without asking my husband 200 times without getting an answer – when and where at least 2 of our sons football matches will be.

Obviously we left a little late for an 8.45am meet!

Put the postcode from the app into my phone and left with 3 of the 5 kids, husband was taking the other 2 to their matches.

We finally arrive at the Rec, feeling quite proud as we were only 10 minutes late and I got the last parking space for my enormous beast car. Only to discover I can’t see any of the team.

I fucking hate football.

It was about now I realised I had left my flask of coffee at home too.

M the baby girl was now awake and wanting my boobs.

I stood in the pouring rain, wearing flip flops as I cant bring myself to wear actual shoes yet as that would mean summers is over and my wellies are currently in a 2 man tent in the garden as when we moved with lost a garage.  We didn’t forget it I mean we had a garage and now we don’t so the contents of our garden is now in a tent and under tarpulins till the shed arrives monday! So yes I stood in the rain staring at random children hoping maybe his team was here.

They weren’t.

So I went old school and checked whats app to find I had missed the message that told us all of the new venue.

Arse.

We made it with 3 minutes to spare before kick off.

BOOM.

So anyway where was I?

Today I decided to start this blog. I set it up about a month ago but got no further – doesnt bode well. But I had a sneaky nap as we have just moved and to say I am run down doesnt come close.

So I woke up to baby M asleep next to me and snuck downstairs to write this.

On the way I slipped on a toy car son 4 had left on the landing and nearly fell down the stairs so really there was a chance I may never have started this!

Part way through writing this son 4 announced baby M was on the landing, turns out she can climb down from probably the highest bed ever without a) hurting herself (thank fuck) and b) without me hearing (nailed parenting).

But I have done it.

I have written my first blog for this page.

 

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